Lewis Carol-ness absurdity: Kingdom hearts gets weird
by TribalWarDog
Summary: KH1's Alice in Wonderland world wasn't nearly absurd enough so I made it better. In which Sora gets trapped in wonderland after Donald and Goofy get turned into raccoons and he must go on a journey the Cheshire cat gives him to set them free.
1. Chapter 1: turtle terrarium

KH1's Alice in Wonderland world wasn't nearly absurd enough so I made it better. In which Sora gets trapped in wonderland after Donald and goofy get turned into raccoons and he must go on a journey the Cheshire cat gives him to set them free.

This story is also posted on AO3

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Turn them back!" Sora yelled pointing at Donald and Goofy. They were nothing but ordinary raccoons now.

The Cheshire cat grinned, "Maybe… If it pleases me."

"No, now! You will change them back now." He demanded in an uncharacteristically stern way.

"You think you have sooooo much power over the world," The cat said. His body beginning to disappear starting with his pink and purple striped tail. He grinned big showing all his teeth. Then said in a sing-song voice, "But you don't." He fully disappeared leaving Sora alone in the room with two wild raccoons.

But you don't

Those words repeated over and over in his head on the flight away from Wonderland. He landed in the radiant garden. He was followed by two raccoons as he walked to Merlin's house. If anyone knew how to fix them it would be Merlin.

Inside Merlin's house, they were having a Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee meeting, so everyone was there. When Sora opened the door, all heads turned to him and his two raccoon companions.

"How many times have I told Y'all don't bring wild animals inside," Sid yelled as raccoon Donald climbed on top of his fancy computer. "Get you fuzzy butt off my computer!" He yelled and raced over to get him off before he messed up something important.

"They aren't wild animals! That's Donald and Goofy your looking at!" Please help!" He turned his attention to Merlin "How do I change them back!" Sora asked once Sid calmed down and stopped yelling.

"Well," Merlin began, "You were in wonderland, correct?"

"Correct, we were there fighting heartless but I think I destroyed all of them."

"It could be a wonderland curse," Merlin said standing up. "Let me get my book."

"What is a wonderland curse?" Sora asked confused.

Merlin sorted through his books until he found the one called 'Wonderland: a tourist's guide'. "Ah, here it is!" He flipped through the pages until he found the page on blessings and curses then handed it to Sora.

Sora scanned the page quickly mostly just looking at the pictures because the words were all technical and confusing. There was a cartoon drawing of a man in a Hawaiian t-shirt being turned into a croquet mallet and another of the same man being transformed into a buffer version of himself.

"It says here," Merlin began to explain all the words and their technical meanings. "that curses and blessing are basically the same, they are changes given to you by powerful wonderland citizens."

"Ok," Sora said not really understanding much more than before, "How does this help me turn Donald and goofy back to their original forms and not raccoons."

"Well, that's a bit harder," Merlin said flipping to the next page. "It says here, in simpler terms, if you want a blessing or curse removed you must visit the one who placed it and meet their demands. So, who placed the curse?" He asked.

"ugh," He said remembering that fat cat's grin. "The Cheshire Cat."

"Well, then you must find him and get this curse reversed."

"Ok, I'm going to take the gummy ship!" Sora ran to the door.

"Wait!" Sid yelled, "What are we supposed to do about these raccoons!"

But Sora was already out the door.

He didn't slow down at all. Out of breath, he got into the gummy ship alone.

The gummy ship flickered to life. "Hey, Sora!" Chip and Dale greeted him on the screen. "Where's Donald and Goofy?"

"They got turned into raccoons and I got to get the curse reversed by talking to the Cheshire cat in Wonderland!" Sora said fast trying to get them caught up in the story.

"3…2…1…lift off, warp drive engage!" The ship zoomed off to wonderland.

He stared at the planet. It was a lopsided egg shape covered in a pink checkerboard pattern like the whole world was nothing but a board game.

He landed in a forest far away from the castle, he didn't want to have to deal with the crazy queen again.

He wandered through the trees for a while. There wasn't any way to contact the Cheshire cat, but Sora had a feeling he would show up eventually.

He was right. When the sun touched the horizon, a crescent smile appeared before Sora followed by the rest of a pink striped cat.

"Hey, Sora!" The cat greeted him. "Long time no see, how you been?"

"Change them back!"

"Maybe I could," The cat said. "If you say the magic word."

"Please?" Sora asked.

The cat laughed and picked his head up with his feet. "You're a fool like me. Go on your journey and by the end, things will be back to normal. Things are strange here but go along with the madness and you'll be fine."

"Alright fine, I'll go on your journey," Sora said.

The cat snapped his paw. "

"My legs feel funny," Sora said then his face changed to fear as he looked down. "Where are my legs!" He shouted in fear all he saw was a green stalk then looking a little farther up his saw his hands. "Where are my hands." In place of his hands and arms were long thin green leaves. He could wave them around.

"Maybe you should look at your face." The Cheshire cat said holding up a fancy silver mirror to Sora's face.

In the reflection was a yellow sunflower pedal all around Sora's face. "What's this?" Sora yelled waving his little leaf arms in terror.

"I thought you needed to slow down and enjoy your surroundings."

"How can I enjoy my surrounding on this journey if I'm in one place the whole time?" Sora asked.

The Cheshire cat grinned like a mysterious moon again, "Oh you won't be here the whole time. You've been carrying around others in your heart for so long I thought it would be nice for someone else to carry you awhile, take over in directions and choices for a little bit."

"What, Who?"

"Oh, you'll see in…" He looked at his wrist as if there were an invisible watch there, "An hour or two."

The cat faded into the shadows again leaving Sora alone on the hill in the middle of the woods. There was not much activity in the forest, a couple of birds flew by and the wind rustled the leaves making music.

About half an hour later Sora felt something strange on his leg. He looked down to see a small caterpillar inching its way up his legs. It made its way to his arm leaf. "Aww, such a cute little fella," Sora said looking at it. It was green with white dots all the way down its back.

"Hey! I'm not cute!" the caterpillar yelled in a high pitch voice you would expect from a bug.

"Oh, I'm sorry, big mean tough caterpillar," Sora said with a humorous tone.

"Yeah, that's right." That caterpillar said before it bit down and took a big bite out of Sora's leaf arm.

"Ouch!" Sora yelled as his arm was bitten into. "I'm not food! Go away!" He yelled shaking his leaf arm to get the caterpillar off.

The caterpillar held on without much effort. "You are a flower and you are my food. I will eat as much of you as I want," it said then took another bite out.

Sora winced in pain as another bite was taken out of his arm. "Please stop it hurts, can't you find another flower to eat?" Sora asked, there wasn't much else he could do except ask politely.

"Oh? So you think you're better than the other flowers? That you deserve to be hurt less than them?" The caterpillar said in mocker before taking another bite. "You are such a pretentious flower maybe I'll make my home here and make you carry me until I grow into the next stage of life."

"You mean a butterfly?" Sora asked.

"What's a butterfly?" the caterpillar said. "I don't know maybe, I don't really know what's next for me. They say my body will take over and become what it needs too but I really don't know what is to become of me."

"Growing up is unknown but I'm sure you'll grow into a nice whatever it is you become."

"Thanks, flower. Maybe you aren't so bad." The caterpillar said. He had finished eating Sora's arm and moved on to the other leaf. On the other arm, it began to make a cocoon like a normal caterpillar. After twenty minutes he was done and snuggled itself inside. Before closing its window, it said, "Good night flower see you after its done."

Sora sat in the forest for another hour looking at the trees and grass and wondering if they had once been travelers like himself. One of his arms was nothing more than a green stick all the leafiness had been eating leaving nothing, but the main vein and his other arm was still there and full but had a small caterpillar cocoon.

Suddenly the ground began to rumble, and he began to move. It felt like an earthquake!

Sora looked down to see the hill he was planted on was a giant snapping turtle. The shell was flat and covered in earth. He was the only big plant along with some moss on the turtles back. The head of the turtle was triangular and there was a pink nose.

"Hello?" Sora called out to the Turtle but he either didn't hear or didn't care.

The Turtle slowly walked through the forest stopping every so often to chew on the bark of trees or rest. For Sora, the Turtle moved at an infuriatingly slow pace. But he was firmly planted on the shell.

The hours dragged on and the sun which was once in the sky was replaced by a silver moon.

Scary shadows were drawn by the moon's light, but Sora couldn't hide or even walk away faster. He was bound to the Turtle and he was no rush.

Eventually, the Turtle made it out of the Forest and onto the beach of a huge lake. The Turtle walked along the beach for a good half hour before he turned towards the water.

"Wait to turn around Turtle!" Sora tried to plead with him. In his flower state, he would surely drown. But the Turtle never listened and continued into the water. The slow pace made Sora's nerves worse. He kept on trying to move but he was no closer to moving than before.

As the Turtle stepped deeper into the water finally reaching the tip of the shell the Turtle he began to swim and move at least four times faster than walking on land.

Sora relaxed a little, he was simply going to be ferried across the lake. Then suddenly without warning the Turtle dove down fully submerging Sora.

As soon as the water hit Sora's flower body he began to transform back into a human. Starting with his roots turned to his toes and his leaves turned back into hands. Finally, the flower petals turned back into human hair and he was fully human again. He swam back to shore.

On the shore, he looked at the reflection in the water to see he his hair was still a bit yellow and petal-looking but other than that and a bit of green in his veins he looked perfectly normal as if he hadn't just been transformed into a flower several hours ago. He was surprisingly not hungry even though he hadn't eaten since breakfast. Maybe he had used photosynthesis, he kind of remembered that from school but he didn't think he could spell it if he tried.

The was still something off. Something felt weird and not normal. Maybe It was his arm, it did feel heavier than it normal. When he looked over his shoulder he saw the caterpillar's cocoon. It was still on the back of his arm and maybe it was just because he changed form, but it looked bigger too.

He stood for a second hoping the Cheshire cat would come to point him to his next destination, but he never came.

With nowhere to go, he walked in the direction of the moon.


	2. Chapter 2: scary dreams

Chapter 2: scary dreams

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The forest seemed to follow Sora, he kept walking in one direction, but he still wasn't out of the forest yet.

He was lost in thought, staring at the flowers around him. They glowed a bluish green in the night. It was gorgeous. He remembered learning about things like this in school, called bioluminescent. Other than the name he didn't know how it worked in the slightest.

Admiring the flower's beauty, he walked right into a spider web. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a spider scurry away.

"Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!" He flailed his arms trying to get the sticky webs off him.

He continued walked but paying more attention for spider webs.

He finally made it out of the deep forest into a more open woody area, after what seemed like a forever. His feet really hurt, but he didn't want to sit down in case one of the trees was sentient or something. He was also getting a bit hungry.

Eventually, he made it out of the forest and onto a dirt path. There was a house way in the distance, he hoped maybe they had directions to the nearest town where he could get some rest and eat at an inn.

When the house was not a speck on the horizon anymore. He could clearly see now that it was actually a barn with a smaller house behind it.

He followed the path all the way up to the barn.

A female voice called from the barn, "Little boy, little boy do you need any help?"

All times his mom told him about stranger danger flew out the window, Sora turned from the road and walked towards the barn. He was hungry, tired and lost, maybe she could give him food, shelter, and directions. He replied, "I'm not in any danger, but I am hungry."

"Oh dear! I'll be right out with some milk and treats," The voice yelled back "Just wait there!"

Sora waited by the barn. It was an average barn in need of a new coat of paint. Next door was the farmer's house, it was a classic country house with frilly window curtains.

After a minute, a brown cow with pink bows around its horns clopped out. She was wearing a pack on her back with a jug of milk and a loaf of thick bread.

"Thank you!" Sora yelled into the barn.

"I'm right here," the cow said pointing at herself.

"Oh, well… thank you" He said, just going with the flow.

"Here let's go to the kitchen and sit down. I'm Bessie by the way," She introduced herself extending hoof.

"I'm Sora, nice to meet you." He said shaking her hoof. This was getting really weird.

They walking to the next-door house. The inside looked exactly how you would expect it too. There was grandmotherly furniture and all themed for the classic country cabin. The kitchen was normal and there was a table with a plasticky floral print tablecloth on it.

Bessie sat on the floor and Sora pulled up a chair.

"Here," She said putting the milk jug and bread on the table with her mouth like a normal cow. Luckily the bread was wrapped, and the slimy slobber was on the outside.

"Let me get you some butter." She said was walked to the fridge getting some and putting it on the table for Sora to use.

"Thanks," He said carefully unwrapping the bread and butter, trying his hardest not to touch the slobber.

"No worries," She said getting him a glass for the milk. "This is the freshest milk you'll ever have, I bet."

"Thanks," Sora said again not sure of what else to say. "It's warm..."

"Yup, it came straight from me minutes before you arrived." She said proudly.

"You?" Sora said putting buttered bread down. He had already taken a bite and was regretting it now.

"Oh yes, I eat super healthy so this milk here is the healthiest you'll find around, go ahead have a glass," she said urging him to drink what she just poured.

Sora not wanting to be rude took the glass. He looked into it to see the milk was brown. "Why is it…" He began to ask.

"Just try it," Bessie said in a tone his mom used when she was not asking anymore.

Sora took a small sip. "It's chocolate?" He said confused, "Wasn't this just milked?"

"I'm a brown cow, and brown cows make chocolate milk, don't you know," Bessie informed him.

"I thought all cows made white milk and the chocolate was added in?" Sora asked wondering if his whole life was a lie.

"Oh, that's just communist propaganda." She said proudly. "Believe me, I'm a farm animal, we know communist propaganda."

After eating Sora asked about where the next town was and whether she point him in the right direction.

Bessie thought for a moment, "Sure, I can even walk you to the next town over,"

"I just need directions," Sora assured.

"No, it's no problem I need to pick up some flour and sugar anyway. It's only about an hour away."

So, they were off, following a dirt path. Bessie talked a lot about the town they here headed towards called Glacier. Apparently, it used to have an ice valley nearby, but recently it has been melting.

They walked for about a half hour when there was rumbling and an angry yelling voice behind them. "I see her! Let's get her!"

Sora turned around to see one man and two black spade cards running towards them. The man was carrying a gun and the cards had two gigantic wood chopping axes.

"Run!" Bessie yelled and Sora not needing to be told twice ran with her.

The one man shot the gun and hit Bessie in the ankle. She collapsed on the ground, but Sora was already too far ahead. He turned back when he heard her mooing, but she kept yelling at Sora to keep running. But he couldn't he had to save his friend. He tried to turn around but tripped.

One of the cards with the axe caught up to Bessie before Sora did and without hesitation, he swung the axe and chopped off Bessie's head.

Sora stopped mid-stride and fell face first into the ground in shock and horror at what just happened. He stood up fast and continued running toward Bessie's body ignoring the pain in his skinned knee.

The cards laughed and dragged Bessie's body onto the cart they had parked in the bushes. After they loaded her body in they rode away saying, "We got ourselves some good dinner tonight!"

By the time Sora got to Bessie, only her head and some of her spine were left. Sora began to cry, he had only known that cow like two hours, but this was a horrible death for this creature that gave him food when he was hungry.

"Don't cry."

Sora looked up but saw no one.

"I'm down here."

Sora looked down at the severed head.

"Don't you know nothing? Cows like me can grow new bodies we just need a couple of weeks." Bessie said slithering her head over to Sora like a short snake with a spinal cord for a tail.

"This world is going from weird to weirder with every moment," Sora said bending down to pick up Bessie's head. It was too heavy so he just sat down next to the cow head.

"This isn't weird," Bessie said, "What would be weird is if cows couldn't grow back their bodies. I mean how would you humans eat if you had to kill a cow every time? The world would run out of cows in no time."

"yea," Sora said at a loss for words. "Are you still a cow, even without your body?"

"You don't need your body to be whole."

The continued their walk to the town.

"The real problem is now I'll be behind on rent for a while." Bessie lamented.

"Why?"

"Because I can make milk until my body grows back," she said.

"Oh, I sorry for drinking some," he apologized.

"There is no need to apologize," She said sternly. "I gave that milk to you when you were in need, and I wouldn't take it back."

"Thank you."

They eventually made it to the town. Bessie decided just to head back and rest because she wouldn't be able to carry back the flour without a body. She refused Sora's offer to carry it for her, "saying she didn't have the body to bake right now anyway.

The town was quaint and quiet. The buildings were made of stone and wood. There was only one inn, a general store and a horse stable with a small blacksmith.

The sun was high in the sky, but he was tired so got a room at the inn anyway.

Even though the bed felt like it was made of straw he fell asleep in less than a minute.

His dream started almost immediately. He was alone on the edge of a pool in a dark room. In the middle of the pool was a bio-luminescent mushroom, glowing bluish green.

Suddenly the water rippled and a giant skeleton spider with 8 legs but only 3 empty eye sockets crawled out.

Sora ran but the spider chased him around the pool. When it became clear there was no exit he attacked the spider and cut off one of its legs.

When it's leg was cut off one of the empty eye sockets lit up with a blue flame and the spider yelled, "There goes my leg!" it a voice that could be mistaken for a circus clown.

He screamed spiders were scary enough without this freaky clown voice.

Sora screamed so loud that the innkeeper shook him awake.

"Calm down son! Whatever it was, it doesn't exist!" He told Sora, who was panting and didn't answer.

The innkeeper spoke again. "It's ok, you're ok, just come on down to the bar and I'll get you a drink to take your mind off the worries."

Sora nodded his head and followed him down to the common area downstairs and sat at the bar.

"What'll you have?" The bartender asked.

"Do you have any chocolate milk?" He asked.

"Here you go," the bartender looked disappointed he didn't get to use his skill at mixing alcohol, but the boy did look like he was only 15. "So what ail's you lad?"

"I had a terrible dream," Sora told him about this dream. "What could it mean?"

The bartender sighed, "Don't go looking for meaning in things like this, it'll only lead you to dead ends and fear. This is wonderland where nothing means anything, and anything could mean nothing."

Sora looked at him with confusion, "What does that mean,"

The bartender sighed again, "weren't you listening. I said don't look for meaning where there is none."

"Ok," Sora said but he wasn't satisfied with that answer. His dream must have been a clue from the Cheshire cat, there must be some unknown meaning that's the key to everything.

He left the Inn and asked around town for a dream interpreter. No one seemed to understand what he wanted except one old lady carrying a basket of laundry.

She pointed her wrinkly hand towards the forest opposite the glacier. "There is one in the forest who can tell you what it means."

"Ok, that's great!" Sora said. "So, what's his name?"

"I don't know but he sits on his mushroom home all day, smoking his hookah." She told him. "Not a very friendly fellow."

"What does he look like?"

She thought for a moment, "I'm not really sure I can't remember, my memory has gotten so fuzzy these last couple of years. I know he is not human though."

"Thank you so much," Sora said. "Do need help carrying that laundry?"

"Oh, that would be great sonny, my back's been hurting something fierce today." She said and dropped the laundry basket.

Sora helped her carry the basket back to her home and then turned his back to the village and toward the forest.

The farther he walked into the forest the darker it got. It had to be around noon, but you wouldn't be able to tell by how dark it was.

About an hour in Sora started to get cold feet. Maybe he should turn around, go back to the town and just leave this dream interpreter unfound. After what felt like another hour but was really 10 minutes, Sora turned around. He traced his steps.

It was another hour before he realized he was hopelessly lost.

Just when he was starting to fear the trees shadows he smelled something weird. It was sweet but gross, a sickly-sweet smell like vape clouds. Along with the smell, there was a light in the distance.

He followed it because what did he have to lose?

As he followed the light the smell got stronger. It was so strong he could now even see the clouds of white smoke.

He pushed through the bush and found the source of the vapor.

It was a giant blue caterpillar with 6 arms smoking a hookah. The caterpillar looked up at him with a distrustful face.

"Hello?" Sora asked tentatively wondering if this was the dream interpreter. He smoked a hookah on a mushroom and he certainly was not human.

"What do you want?" The blue caterpillar asked in a harsh tone.

"Do you interpret dreams?"

"It depends on who's asking." The caterpillar said bluntly. "and what are you doing with one of my kind on your arm?"

"Wha… oh, this" Sora lifted his arm showing the cacoon. He recounted to him how that small caterpillar that made a cocoon on his arm when he was a flower.

The caterpillar sneered and took a drag on his hookah, "A likely story."

"But it's true!" Sora said. "One day he'll turn into a butterfly."

"Whatever, caterpillar eater." The caterpillar said to him condescendingly. "Not my problem anyway."

Sora stood there for a second unsure of whether he should leave.

"Sigh, you are interrupting my hookah time, what do you want."

"I was hoping you could interpret my dream," Sora said.

"Fine, but only so you can leave." The caterpillar muttered "caterpillar eater" under his breath.

Sora told him his dream.

The caterpillar thought for a moment and smoked his hookah in thought. "Well, this dream must mean bugs are invading your head."

"What!" Sora yelped in fear, he clutched the sides of his head and hair.

The caterpillar looked at him with clearly fake sympathy, "Yup, and if you want to get them out you must go to the badlands, there are three birds who will help you there."

"Thank you so much!" Sora breathed a sigh of relief, he would be safe.

"Tell them the blue caterpillar sent you." The caterpillar waved goodbye to Sora.

Sora turned his back to the caterpillar and walked in the direction of the badlands that the caterpillar had pointed towards. He could never be sure, but he thought he heard the caterpillar sinisterly snicker "caterpillar eater" as he walked away.

Thank you all for reading this story! Please comment, I love and read all of them.

It means so much to me that you would read a weird crazy story I wrote, where most of the ideas come some from shower thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3: Vulture dinner

Vulture dinner

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Sora walked for a long time. He could see the rock pillars of the badlands growing steadily closer.

He was getting hungry and thirsty walking through the muggy forest. He could feel it in the air though, it was getting drier. The farther he walked the more brown and dead the trees looked. The once rich soil was becoming dustier too.

When the sun had just passed its peak, he made it to the start of the badlands. Here there were still a few lingering dead looking trees but not very many.

He couldn't remember where these birds who were going to help him with his dream were located. Did the caterpillar even tell him where in the badlands? He couldn't remember, in fact, it was getting hard to think of anything. Even time he took a step he saw stars in his vision. He must be dehydrated, he hasn't eaten since the town this morning and it was hot.

It might have been his vision growing fuzzy, but he thought he could see some black dots in the distance. They kind of looked like birds. With nowhere else looking promising he walked that way.

Eventually, he made it into the base of a gigantic canyon. Sora tried to look up at the top of the plateau where the black bird-like dots were but blacked out instead.

"This one's not dead yet!" Something yelled close to Sora's ear.

"Eggu," Sora sat up. He was on the edge of a plateau near the edge. He tried to get up but just moving his head made him dizzy and see spots.

Last he remembered was on the bottom of the plateau, but how did he get up here?

"E hehehe," A couple of crackly voices laughed behind him. He saw a greasy black vulture next to him.

Sora turned a little to see two other vultures perched in a tree. If you could call it a tree really it was nothing more than a twig with a couple of leaves on it.

The third one, where the first voice came from called out to the others, "Look it's awake!" This was a big vulture with shiny black feathers on his body and a bald pink head. When he looked at Sora. He had only one red eye. Where the other eye should be, was a smooth gray pebble.

"It's awake! It's awake!" The other bird squawked out. There was something very wrong with this bird. It had ruffled oily feathers with big bald patches of pink skin showing and it kept jutting and flinching every second of two.

"Well at least one is, e hehehe, this'll be the most fun dinner in a while," The smallest of the birds said laughing at his comment as it was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

"Who are you?" Sora asked with mock anger trying (and failing) to hide his fear.

"I am Odin," the one-eyed bird introduced himself politely to Sora showing off his pebble eye.

"I am Koios," The smallest said.

The flinching bird in the back screamed incoherent syllables as if trying to introduce its self.

Koios introduced the third vulture. "He doesn't have a name, at least on that we know of. We just call him Death's Echo because all he does is repeat the words. Death for short."

"And we, are the brain eaters!" The two talking ones said, and Death's echo just screamed.

There was silence as Sora tried to process everything. "Zombies?" He could only say words, the sentences sank away before he could say them.

"No, we're not dead," Koios said, "But you'll be soon! E hehehe!" They all laughed with their horrible bird screeches

"We eat minds," Odin said. He walked slowly towards Sora.

"And what a lucky find we have today! Two for the price of one!" Koios added jumping down to join Odin near Sora.

"The price of one! The price of one!" Death said jumping down to joining them but landing on his face. He got up quickly and walked unsteadily.

Sora stood up quickly to back away but the sudden rush to his head made him fall back down. Everything was tilted, why was it so hard to find his balance?

"Oh, do try to escape and make this hunt more exciting than the last one we had!" Odin said, his red eye looked at Sora hungrily. The other two vultures laughed at the fear they saw in his eyes.

Sora got up and began to slowly back away never looking away from the vultures. He could feel the empty air behind him, where the plateau fell away.

"I call the sleeping one!" Koios said making a lunge at Sora. Odin followed behind.

"The sleeping one! The sleeping one!" Death screeched out as he few unevenly behind the other two. He flinched every couple of seconds as if he would fall dead out of the sky any minute, but he never did.

Sora tried to get up to run but Koios, despite being the smaller bird pounced on him and forced his face into the dirt.

"We'll grind your bones to dust!" He mocked.

"Dust, dust!" Death laughed then coughed a gross wet cough that no bird should ever sound like.

"No that was too easy," Odin said. "Besides we need to break him more if we want that good marrow!" Odin few over to Koios onto of Sora's back. "Scoot over, let me have some fun!"

"Fun! Fun! Fun!" Death repeated as he pranced around Sora's head. His shrill cries pierced holes through Sora's ears.

When Odin landed, the weight was too much, and Sora felt an immense pain in his shoulder blades. So painful he couldn't feel anything else. Dust filled his mouth as he cried out in pain.

The birds started to argue over who should get to break the first bone. Luckily the argument took them off his back and Sora could breathe again.

Once he caught his breath, he leapt up and started to run. The blood rush left spots in his eyes, he couldn't see the cliff drop he headed for.

His foot hit air and he was falling. He could not hear anything over the wind rushing.

There was pain as his body were wretched up by his arm.

"Don't die on us yet!" The bird that caught him laughed and flew out farther away from the cliff.

The other two birds flew underneath, nipping his ankles. When they drew blood, Sora yelped. Death who was flying right in front of Sora's face copied his yelp with frightening accuracy.

Sora tried to squirm and wriggle his way out of Odin's grasp.

"Do you want me to drop you?" Odin yelled against the wind.

"No!" Sora tried to yell but the wind drowned him out.

"Was that a yes?" Odin asked in mock concern. "Well, Alright then!" He said with glee and let go.

Sora plummeted a couple feet screaming and reaching for nothing. Koios and Odin flew down and both grabbed a hold of one of his legs.

Death was flying in front of Sora. He was screaming 'Alright then' over and over in a hypnotic rhythm. The pain was too much, and Sora was losing consciousness fast.

Just before he fainted Death shuttered and one of his few feathers came off and tickled Sora on his nose. It reminded him of Destiny island and how the butterflies would sometimes land on your nose.

* * *

Well, that was intense.

These vultures were kind of inspired by the vultures from robin hood (trigger and nutsy) but a lot more malicious and **way** more edgy.

Vulture Fun facts! A group of flying vultures is called a kettle!

They are generally bald to prevent infection or parasites in their feathers from sticking their heads in carcasses!

Vultures pee on their legs to kill bacteria and cool down!

Vultures stomach acid is stronger than humans and comparable to battery acid!

Real (not wonderlandian vultures) vultures have weak legs and feet, they cannot carry things!


End file.
